Disclaimer: This post was written while sleep deprived in the early morning hours. It was not meant to be whiny, fussy or down-to-earth honest…but it might have turned out that way.
Today's post is most likely useless to anyone and everyone, but maybe it will justify why there will not be some sort of creative mid-week post displaying some type of craft, children's activity, or thought-provoking insight (as if I can ever pull that last one off anyway, right)? It's not like the 3rd trimester with my first pregnancy was easy-breezy…but it was nothing like this. I repeat, nothing. This time around it is completely kicking my trash. I limp around like I have a bowling ball in between my legs, the mere act of putting on clothing gives me the feeling that my pelvic bones are splitting in two, and I have InsMOMnia: the act of trying to be a mom to an active toddler while sleep deprived.
Basically, I'm in survival mode.
It's currently 5 A.M. and I think I've had about two hours of sleep. But I knew last night would probably be rough. I had initially planned on having a green smoothie and toast for dinner last night just to avoid the heartburn, but a dear friend of mine offered my husband and I some homemade cafe Rio. Naturally, the ravenous pregnant beast within me could not resist. I knew when the acid started rising from the STANDING UP position, that my chances of sleep would be close to nothing.
It was just a day ago that I spent the morning in labor and delivery for contractions that were a little too close together. Apparently the contractions were due to a urinary tract infection that I didn't know I had. This qualified me for a big fat shot of antibiotics right in the rear end, and an extra set of oral antibiotics to take home as a souvenir. Okay, not a souvenir, I actually have to take them. I'm going somewhere with this, I promise.
So usually I take some TUMS after my meal to help curb some of the heartburn, but apparently they can't be taken with the particular antibiotic that I'm on. So I grabbed a plethora of pillows, and made a giant fortress on my bed to allow me to sleep in the sitting-up position. A couple of hours and few bathroom trips later I found myself releasing pillows one at a time to give myself just a little recline. I'm in luck! It's 3 A.M. and my dinner has finally settled enough to allow some mercy. I fall into blissful sleep.
Not too much later I wake up with the feeling that it might just be 100 degrees in the room and have the sudden desire to rip my pajamas off rapidly. Remembering that I'm pregnant and that I don't do anything rapidly anymore (and the mere act of dressing and undressing requires too much pain and effort), I settle with throwing the covers and sheets away from me. And then I try drifting again.
But something is off. I feel this strong mood to cuddle with my husband. We always snuggle when we sleep, but due to pregnancy and the 50 pillows that exist between us, it just doesn't happen anymore. I try to go back to sleep, but I find myself wanting to be close to him and remove the pillows supporting my belly to inch a little closer. I lay there with my arm around him trying not to focus on the way the Earth seems to be pulling on my muscles and ligaments in all directions. Gravity reminds me that I'm no longer in the mood to cuddle and my pillows return to their proper place.
Then it happens. My husband's alarm goes off and I realize that morning is nigh. I move to the couch hoping the back support and new environment will offer me just an hour's more sleep before the toddler wakes up. And then the growling. My stomach realizes that I've been up most of the night and reminds me in a very demanding and belligerent way that it is very, very hungry. I tell myself, “NO-freaking-way am I going into the kitchen to make myself something to eat only to wake myself up more.“ The hunger pains persist. And then I hear the birds happily singing in a joyous chorus outside our window as if life couldn't be better for them. Typically I love waking up to the sound of singing birds, but today I want to shoot every single one of them out of the tree. I can't decide which emotion is stronger: my new rage for killing birds, or the desire to sob at the thought of my toddler waking up in just a short period of time. And since I can't sleep, and I have no desire to make myself some breakfast yet, I am instead spending the remaining time before she wakes documenting this whole experience in hopes that I will one day laugh at myself.
So here's my advice for the sleep deprived wanting to survive 3rd trimester InsMOMnia. It is completely useless, but read it anyway.
Tips for the Sleep Deprived: How to Survive
- Don't think about how many weeks you have left. Not for one second, don't even go there! For all you know, you are giving birth tomorrow and this will all be over. Repeat this to yourself each and every day. But don't actually wish for the baby to come early, because that will only be followed by guilt since the baby is not ready to be born yet. Telling yourself your baby is almost here is strictly for mind-tricking purposes, not for convincing baby to actually vacate.
- Don't remind yourself that having a newborn only brings more sleep-deprivation. All you need to focus on right now is that birth of baby = unending and eternal bliss.
- Don't remorse over the growing dust and piles of laundry. Yes, baby is coming soon and you are feeling this overwhelming urge for everything to be clean and tidy…but when the toddler takes her nap, this is not time for you to get done all that hasn't gotten done…this is time for you to nap too.
- No matter how sleep deprived you are, try to keep perspective and remember that although life seems difficult, pregnancy isn't the worse thing to have happened to you, and that you are actually quite blessed to even have this experience.
- Tell yourself you will get to the housework tomorrow. And tomorrow tell yourself the same thing. You purpose right now is merely to survive. Try not to let your purpose make you feel worthless. Although you feel like you are accomplishing nothing at all, you are at the final stages of having made a human being. This is remarkable. Anyone that says otherwise is going down with the birds.
Did I miss anything? Anyone else sleep deprived?