If You’re a New Parent, Avoid These 8 Common Mistakes

If you’re anything like my wife and I were when we had our daughter, then you are probably a nervous wreck getting ready for your new baby. It can be a bit overwhelming when a million baby books, websites, and family members give you tips and tricks. However, if you listen to every piece of advice, you may not provide the individualized attention your child needs. On the other side of the coin, if you don’t research, you may not be prepared.

That’s why we've created this list of the top mistakes new parents make. We want you to avoid the mistakes we made in the past so you can be a bit more relaxed as you take care of your new bundle of joy.

Mistake: Comparing Your Baby to Others

I can attest that one of the mistakes new parents make is comparing their babies with others. Personally, when I had my son, I did this. He didn’t speak any words for many years. It wasn’t until he was well into year three that he started to talk. Up until his first real words, I was freaking out, thinking that he had some kind of issue that a doctor could not diagnose. Then, I began to compare my son to other children, especially the friends who had a baby who started speaking before he was two years old. Comparing my son to another child was a mistake, and now my son can’t stop talking!

How to Avoid It

The best advice I can give is not to do what I did. Not all babies are the same, and there isn’t a proven timetable for the steps that every child should hit at the same time. Most children will hit milestones at different times in their lives, and the best thing you can do is wait. If you think there is an actual problem, ask a doctor. But if they tell you that they don’t see an issue, then believe them and give it some time.

Mistake: Forgetting to Do Tummy Time

One of the most important things that you should do with your new baby is ensure that they’re spending enough time on their tummy. Whenever you’re at home with your newborn, put them on their tummy. Failure to do so could lead to a soft spot on the back of the baby’s head. Plus, if they’re on their back, they can’t learn to lift their head and may lack other essential motor skills. Also, if your baby is on their tummy, that probably means you’re engaging with them, and that connection is important.

How to Avoid It

The easiest way to avoid a lack of tummy time is to ensure that your baby is on their tummy whenever possible. Whenever you’re at home and the baby is awake, put them on their tummy. It’s okay to rotate from tummy to back from time to time, but don’t neglect tummy time.

Mistake: Rushing to Your Baby at the First Stir

As a new parent, it’s common to worry about your baby, especially at night. You likely have the baby monitor close to your head, and you’re probably losing sleep. Then, when you hear the baby stir or utter a short cry, you run out of bed to hold your child in your arms. While it’s important to keep an eye on your baby at night, especially during the first few months, if you run to them at the first sign of stirring, you may be doing your baby a disservice. Most babies will be able to calm themselves back to sleep. If you run in to save the day, it may take longer for your baby to learn that skill.

How to Avoid It

Although it will be hard, the best thing to do is to give it a few minutes before you run into your child’s bedroom. If your baby starts crying a lot, then you probably want to go in and check. However, if it’s just a little murmur, consider counting to 20 in your head. If your baby is still fussing after that time, then go in and check on your bundle of joy.

Mistake: Having an Inconsistent Bedtime 

Another one of the top mistakes new parents make is not having a consistent bedtime routine. This tip goes for babies and parents alike. When you go to bed at different times, you may find that you are not getting good sleep. That’s partially due to the disruption of your circadian rhythm. This sporadic routine may also make it harder to wake up in the morning. The best way to ensure that your child sleeps as much of the night as possible is to put them to sleep and down for naps at the same time each day.

How to Avoid It

The best way to ensure that both you and your baby go to sleep at the same time every night is to have a routine. Set a bedtime and list all of the things you want to do as you wind down for the night, from swaddling your baby and reading them a story to brushing your teeth. Follow this same bedtime routine every day, even on weekends. It’s the best chance of getting the sleep you need and saving your sanity.

Mistake: Buying Too Many Baby Clothes

It’s far too easy to fall for this one. There's no doubt about it – baby clothes are cute. As it gets closer to your due date and even after the baby is born, you’re going to be tempted to walk down the baby aisle at Target and fall in love with all of the adorable clothes you see. However, one of the top mistakes new parents make is buying too many clothes. The issue is that you’re going to be swamped with clothes and gifts from relatives and friends. On top of spending money on clothes you won’t need, you’ll also buy many outfits that your child may outgrow before it comes time to wear them.

How to Avoid It

It’s okay to be excited for your baby and to buy baby clothes, just don’t go overboard. Buy the necessities plus a few extras. Many times, you can get a pack of outfits for a great price, so consider that. Also, there’s really no reason to buy baby shoes because your baby won’t be walking anytime soon, and they’ll outgrow them by the time they do start walking. If anything, buy one pair if you want them for pictures.

Mistake: Believing Everything You Hear

It can be overwhelming to realize that you don’t know the first thing about how to raise a child. As a result, you may be tempted to seek advice from every person and book you see and to hang onto every word you hear, but that is one of the top mistakes new parents make. While it’s important to be informed, you should understand that not everything you hear will apply to your child. Every baby is different, so what works for one parent may not work for everyone. 

How to Avoid It

While you should read a few baby books and magazine articles, what you really should do is speak to your doctor or another professional and ask for their opinion. Also, get familiar with trial and error. You may have a fussy baby or another issue, and try something from a baby book only to learn that the solution they propose doesn’t work. Don’t fret. It doesn’t mean your baby has an issue. You may just need to try something else.

Mistake: Not Asking for Help

Another one of the top mistakes new parents make is not asking for help. As a new parent, you’re not going to be perfect, so it’s okay to reach out for assistance. If you don’t ask for help, you’re only hurting yourself, and you could be hurting your baby.

How to Avoid It

The answer is simple. When you need help, reach out. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or you need a nap, call your family and have them step in for a couple of hours. If you think your baby is very sick, don’t try to cure them on your own. Call the doctor. There are many people out there who can help, so take advantage of your support network.

Mistake: Ignoring Your Relationship

Finally, one of the top mistakes new parents make is having a baby and putting all their focus on the child to the detriment of their adult relationship. Yes, you are supposed to give your new baby a lot of attention, but if you put the love you have for your spouse on the back burner and your relationship fails, then you’re not doing your baby any favors. Plus, you’ll be more stressed at home, and that doesn’t help anyone.

How to Avoid It

The best way to care for your baby while also keeping your relationship fresh is to make it a point to spend time together when you can. After a few months, when you and your baby are settled, consider arranging for a babysitter so you can have a date night or lunch out of the house. Also, once your baby goes to sleep, spend some time together. Also, remember that your baby will start to get older before you know it, and you’ll inevitably have more time together as partners.

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