A Letter to My L&D Nurse: Thank You for Being My Rock

When the contractions started, I was prepared for everything. At least, I thought I was. The bags were packed, the car seat was installed, and the breathing techniques I learned during my pregnancy were fresh in my mind. Still, I didn't know I would end up with a midwife I'd never met before, one who would insist on doing things her way instead of mine. There was a lot that I didn't know before giving birth to my first baby all those years ago. Everything ended up being okay, though, thanks to you.

The Support I Didn't Know I Needed

I was a first-time mom, and I had everything planned out. I did all the research. I took the Bradley Method classes. I picked the most baby-friendly hospital. I chose a highly-rated midwife group. Trust me, I had thought of everything.

No matter where you give birth, though, there's a lot you can't control. I kept hoping that my favorite midwife would be the one on call when I finally went into labor. But despite my best intentions and thorough preparation, the midwife on call was one I hadn't met before, the only one who didn't practice in the office. And right off the bat, she made it clear her priority was moving things along.

By 10 a.m., my water still hadn't broken. The midwife insisted that we break it artificially to speed up the process. “You must be tired, and I'm sure you're ready to go home,” she said. I remember feeling bothered by her comment. Even without an epidural, I was handling contractions well, and considering the average length of labor for a first-time mom can be up to 24 hours, I knew I had a long way to go before the length of my labor became concerning.

I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt and believe she was looking out for me, but she kept pushing, even when I told her I wanted to wait.

“I'll come back in two hours,” she said, as I willed myself to stay calm instead of looking at the clock.

I'll never forget how you reassured me, gently telling me that I could still say no to the midwife if I wanted to. You talked me through the pros and cons, helping me feel confident in my decision.

I had heard all the horror stories from women who were treated poorly when giving birth in the hospital. But you treated me with dignity and respect, encouraging me every step of the way.

“It's like a spa in here,” you said when you walked into the room and heard my birth playlist in the background. The lights were dimmed, and I was as zen as I could be, even after nearly 15 hours of labor.

We chatted in between contractions, and you told me you were in school to become a midwife. I couldn't help but think how fortunate any mom would be to have you as her provider during pregnancy. The idea of you being there for moms during labor filled me with hope.

When it was time to start pushing, your shift had already ended. But you had been there with me through most of my labor, and you were prepared to see it through. It meant so much to me that you stayed.

I've heard plenty of moms and doulas criticize labor and delivery nurses online, and I'm sure some deserve it. But I'm so glad you were there with me. My husband was a great birth coach, but your experience, gentleness, and calm reassurance made me feel brave, even in the moments when I was unsure of myself. Looking back, I know I couldn't have done it without you.

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