Here’s How to Manage Visitors Postpartum Like a Pro (While Keeping Your Sanity)

The birth of a newborn baby is an exciting time, not just for the new parents but also for eager friends and family. The overwhelming joy that we feel to be part of a new parent's journey, even in the hospital, is universal. However, this can also be a stressful time for new parents. Many new parents want their hospital stay to be a private time between them and their new baby. It's not always easy to bring up this topic with friends and family who may not completely understand.

If you are about to have a new baby and need tips for managing visitors after you give birth, look no further. As a mom of four who has been there, I can give you solid advice to carry with you into the delivery room, helping you feel confident and ready to face even the trickiest situation.

Managing Visitors After Newborn

For some, managing visitors after giving birth can feel daunting. Sure, you have friends and family who are more than willing to respect any boundaries you may put in place. However, on the flip side, some are poised and ready to bulldoze over any preference you may have. So, where does this leave you as a new parent?

It is important to remember that you and your partner are the parents, not anybody else. Additionally, the hospital staff is there to support you and your baby. The very first thing you need to think about is what you want. Do you welcome visits from all your friends and family? Do you only want a couple of close people to visit and for the others to wait?

When I delivered my last baby, it was during COVID. This meant that only my spouse and I could be in the room with our baby, and no one could visit. At first, I was bummed because I enjoyed having visitors with my previous babies. However, my hospital stay with my last baby was one of the most relaxing stays I had, and I cherish the time I had to spend with just her and me.

Whether you have visitors in the hospital or after you go home is a deeply personal decision and one that should be respected, so don't be afraid to put those boundaries in place.

At the Hospital

Are you looking for ways to manage visitors after you give birth? There are steps you can take to make yourself and your partner feel comfortable and prepared to handle those eager visitors.

Talk to Your Partner About Your Expectations

The first thing you need to do is talk to your partner about your expectations. Be open-minded and listen to their expectations as well. Do you want to postpone visitors for a while? Share your reasons with your partner. Would you prefer only certain visitors, such as your mom or dad?

No matter what your preferences are, make sure to clearly express your thoughts on how you would like your first few days with your newborn to go. Then formulate a plan for visitors.

Communicate With Friends and Family

Communicating your plan to friends and family is often the tricky part. You will need to communicate what your expectations are regarding visitors in the hospital and after you return home. This can be a difficult conversation to have with some; however, it is important to communicate your visitor plan with everyone. This way, lines are firmly in place. If you do happen to have a family member or friend who is upset (which, let's face it, happens more than it really should), gently but firmly explain your reasons and leave it at that. Remember, you are not responsible for anyone's reactions to your boundaries.

Talk to the Nurses at the Hospital About Your Visitor Plan

When you get to the hospital to deliver your baby, be sure to fill your nurses and hospital staff in on your expectations for visitors. Each hospital will have its own visitor guidelines. However, they will also respect your desires and needs. This means if you only want certain people to visit, they will be sure to communicate this with any visitors not on the list.

Set Limits with Visitors

If you do decide to allow visitors while you are in the hospital, do not be afraid to set limits. These limits could include things like:

• Only visit if you are healthy
• Please only stay for 30 minutes or less
• Ask before you hold the newborn
• Visit only during set times
• Only one or two visitors at a time

You know your limits. What will you be able to handle during a visit? Additionally, these limits may change depending on the needs of your newborn and also depend on how you are healing. Do not be afraid to change your mind on limits or even whether or not visitors can come to the hospital. Remember to give yourself grace and not push yourself too hard. After all, you just had a baby.

Focus on Keeping Your Newborn Healthy

Keeping your newborn healthy is a top priority. This means setting in place guidelines for visitors. These rules are a must for visitors before they come to see your baby:

• Do not come if they are sick. Babies are vulnerable to germs, especially in the first couple months of their life. Therefore, visitors need to keep their distance if they have had a contagious illness like the cold or flu, or have been around someone with these illnesses.
• Before visitors touch or hold a newborn, they should always wash their hands.
• If it makes you feel safer, you can always ask visitors to please put on a mask, especially if it's flu season.

These are not the only precautions that visitors should take when visiting newborns. It is also advised that each visitor is up to date on their vaccinations. As a new parent, it is absolutely within your right to say no to anyone touching or holding your newborn. Their safety and health are your top priority.

Visitors at Home

Once you arrive home, chances are you will have more friends and family wanting to come visit you. If you are comfortable with visitors at home, there are a few things to keep in mind to make the visits more peaceful for you. Here are a few ways to manage visitors after you give birth while at home.

Think About Your Own Needs

Be sure to think about your own needs. Did you have a C-section? Then maybe keep visits short so you have plenty of time to rest. Do some people bring you peace while others invite anxiety? Do not be afraid to say no to anything that will make your first few weeks at home stressful. It is okay to think about your own needs first and foremost.

Have a Code Word Between You and Your Spouse

It can be a good idea to create a code word between you and your partner. This can be a subtle word that you use to communicate that you are tired and ready for the visitor to leave. When either one of you uses this code word, it will signal that it is now time to wrap up the visit any way you can.

Don't Be Shy About Voicing Your Preferences for the Visit

Sometimes, visitors after a newborn can feel difficult for new parents because it's hard for them to voice their preferences. Some friends and family members are not respectful of boundaries and make things harder than they have to be. Even so, if this is the case for you, do not be shy about voicing your preferences.

Boundaries are important for new parents who are navigating their new normal. So, do not shy away from expressing your own needs and being an advocate for yourself, your partner, and your newborn.

Don't Feel Like You Need to Entertain

Feeling the need to entertain comes when visitors show up at our houses. However, you just had a baby. This means you should push that thought down and just enjoy your new baby. If anything, you can always ask the visitor to help you out with food, dishes, laundry, or the baby's siblings. This can take the load off of you, and you can take those few minutes to soak in your newborn.

One Last Note

Lastly, it's important to always listen to your body and mind during these visits. If you are feeling worn out or emotional, it's okay to ask a visitor to leave or have your partner do it for you. After having a baby, it is normal to feel off. Hormones are rushing through your body; you are most likely sleep-deprived and adjusting to taking care of a new baby.

When a person wants to visit, it can help to keep these visits short and keep your best interests in mind. Even if this means the visitor is disappointed. There will be plenty of time for them to bond with your baby through the years.

The image featured at the top of this post is ©Lopolo/Shutterstock.com