I Used to Dread Having a Sephora Tween. Here’s What Changed My Mind.

The “Sephora Tween” phenomenon is real, but living with a tween who’s obsessed with beauty products isn’t nearly as overwhelming as it might sound. Yes, Sephora and Ulta have become regular stops on our must-visit list. But here’s the thing, I actually kind of enjoy it. While my daughter is busy swatching every new gloss, blush, and serum she’s seen on TikTok, I’m usually just tagging along, soaking in the experience (and occasionally stealing a sample of hand cream).

The truth is that we approach beauty from completely different angles. I tend to stick with what’s worked for me for decades: some reliable drugstore finds, a mix of higher-end products, and a basic skincare routine that’s more about function than fashion. Meanwhile, she’s an expert in all things trending. She knows what’s hot, what’s not, and what’s already yesterday’s news. She can spot a dupe from across the store and explain why one $30 lip oil is worth it while another isn’t.

And while it might seem like a frivolous hobby from the outside, I’ve come to see it as something more. It’s creativity. It’s self-expression. It’s bonding time. Watching her navigate the world of beauty is like watching her learn a new language – one filled with shimmer, SPF, and viral moments. If nothing else, at least I now know what a “clean girl aesthetic” is and how to properly layer serums. So maybe I’m learning something too.

As we navigate this new world, there are some things that we do to help us make sure we are staying true to our values, our budget is being considered, and that as a family, we are keeping our daughter safe.

No Products for Aging

It's essential to establish boundaries when it comes to beauty products, especially in a world where marketing often blurs the line between skincare, self-care, and unrealistic beauty standards. In our home, we focus on age-appropriate items. For our tween, this usually means products that are fun, gentle, and specifically designed for younger skin. Think colorful lip glosses (so many lip glosses), lightly tinted balms, peel-off masks, and sparkly nail polish. But I draw the line at anything that targets wrinkles, fine lines, or “youth preservation.”

We steer clear of products aimed at anti-aging, not because they're inherently evil, but because they send a message that doesn't belong in a tween's world. We don't see that growing up should be something to fear or fight. Instead, we frame beauty as something playful, expressive, and joyful. My daughter can have fun experimenting with trends and discovering what she likes, all without feeling pressured to look older or chase some impossible standard.

This approach helps her develop a healthy relationship with beauty and self-image, one that's grounded in confidence rather than comparison. It also allows us to have more meaningful conversations about media literacy, self-worth, and the distinction between taking care of yourself and trying to change yourself. And as a bonus, it keeps our bathroom shelf from looking like a lab full of retinol and acid peels.

Discuss Investment

One of the most significant and ongoing conversations I have with my Sephora Tween is about money. Let’s be honest, these products aren’t cheap. A single lip oil can cost more than what I used to spend on my entire makeup routine. While I might occasionally treat her to a gloss or a cute nail polish during a special outing, the reality is that she’s responsible for funding most of her beauty habits herself.

And to her credit, she takes that responsibility seriously. She earns chore money, sets up lemonade stands, and has even helped me with small tasks for a little extra cash. She understands that if she wants the latest trending product, she has to plan for it. It’s turned into a surprising lesson in budgeting, goal-setting, and delayed gratification. Behind this financial fluency are skills I didn’t expect her to learn through makeup, but here we are.

She’s also smart about letting others know what she wants. Around birthdays and holidays, she doesn’t ask for toys or clothes. Instead, she asks for Sephora or Ulta gift cards. It’s amusing and somewhat impressive how strategic she’s become. She’ll save up and stack her gift cards to get exactly what she wants, often with a mental list of what’s worth it and what’s not.

In the end, our conversations about money are less about denying her the things she loves and more about helping her understand the value behind them. Beauty might be the context, but the lessons, such as independence, financial literacy, and prioritization, will last much longer than any bottle of shimmer serum.

Decide Your Limits

Before my daughter was born, I distinctly remember raising an eyebrow at a little girl who wore lipstick to my son’s preschool class. I didn’t say anything out loud, but I definitely judged her mom a little. In my mind, makeup was for teenagers and adults, so what was a preschooler doing with red lips and sparkles? Little did I know what was in store for me.

By the time my daughter could walk, she was already sneaking into my makeup bag. She’d toddled into the room with suspiciously tinted cheeks, glitter smeared across her forehead, and lips that looked like they’d been through a cherry popsicle explosion. When it was finally her turn for preschool, she marched into class not only wearing lipstick but also rocking bold eyeshadow and a generous swipe of blush, looking like a tiny beauty influencer who had just discovered contouring.

But instead of shutting it down, we leaned into it, with boundaries, of course. We treated makeup as play. For her, it was never about trying to look older or impress anyone; she was all about exploration, creativity, and self-expression. Those are the characteristics we want!

As a parent, I had to let go of my early assumptions and listen to what this fascination with beauty meant for her. It wasn’t about vanity or growing up too fast. Instead, it was about being fully herself. Honestly, it seems to run in the family. I love makeup, too! Her obsession is a proud continuation of a family tradition that started with my Avon lady grandmother.

Once I saw it through that lens, makeup stopped being something I needed to control and became something I could support with a bit of guidance, a few makeup wipes, and a lot of enthusiasm.

Consult an Expert

Investing in quality products, even at a young age, can lay the groundwork for a healthy, lifelong skincare routine. In our family, we talk openly about the difference between what’s popular and what’s good for your skin. We focus on selecting reliable brands that prioritize skin health and integrity rather than just flashy packaging or viral status. This intentional approach to beauty has become a way for my daughter to learn about responsibility, discernment, and the value of caring for herself in a meaningful way.

One of the most critical aspects of this journey is that we don’t do it alone. We consult a dermatologist regularly. Having a trusted professional guiding us takes a significant amount of the guesswork and marketing noise out of the equation. Our dermatologist has helped us develop a straightforward, effective skincare plan, with go-to recommendations like CeraVe and Cetaphil.

These may not be the flashiest products on the shelf, but they’re dermatologist-approved, gentle, and dependable, exactly what young skin needs. We care about good cleansers, moisturizers, and sunscreens… everything else is just for fun!

This expert-backed routine has given us a clear starting point, a filter through which we evaluate new products and trends. It also helps us resist the pull of ever-changing fads and social media “must-haves,” many of which aren’t suitable for tweens or anyone without a complete understanding of active ingredients.

By keeping things simple, we avoid getting caught in skincare rabbit holes and instead stay focused on what really matters: healthy, balanced skin and an age-appropriate approach to self-care.

Conclusion

Raising a “Sephora Tween” has prompted me to rethink my assumptions, initiate conversations I never expected to have so early, and, most importantly, connect with my daughter in new and surprising ways. Through her love of beauty, we've explored a wide range of topics — from budgeting to body image and marketing to media literacy. Each discussion not only enriches her understanding but also fosters a deeper bond between us (and a better understanding of makeup for me).

Our approach may not look like everyone else's, but it works for us. I try not to get hung up on the familiar narratives surrounding what a Sephora Tween is all about. Instead, our journey is built on values, guided by professional advice, and grounded in a mutual respect for self-expression. In our home, beauty isn't about striving for perfection; it's about play, creativity, confidence, and care. It's sparkly nail polish, sunscreen reminders, and lip gloss wish lists that reflect her personality and interests.

At the end of the day, I don't mind making regular trips to Sephora or hearing endless commentary about the latest viral trend. Behind all the shimmer and shopping bags is a curious, confident girl learning who she is, and I get a front-row seat to watch her shine. This beautiful journey of exploration, growth, and connection is one I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.

The image featured at the top of this post is ©Rawf8 / iStock via Getty Images