Emma Grede Says Work-Life Balance Is Your Problem. As a Working Mom, I Disagree.

I'll never forget the first day I dropped my oldest child off at daycare. After eight weeks of maternity leave, my employer offered me a new position, one that allowed me to keep my daughter home with me a couple of days a week. And even though I was grateful for a bit more flexibility, it still seemed too soon. Having her away from me three days a week still seemed like too much. But without any other real plan for our family, I entered my era of being a full-time working mom, immediately discovering how challenging work-life balance is when you feel like you're living two different lives.

This week, Emma Grede, entrepreneur and co-founder of clothing brand Skims, said in an interview that work-life balance is a problem for employees to figure out, not employers. Grede even claimed that employees, including parents, aren't missing out on appointments or events for their kids, because that's not how organizations are run nowadays. But is this really true? Here's what I think as a working mom.

According to ABC News, Grede said in the interview, "Because the way we run organizations now is that no one misses dentist appointments or a doctor's appointment or a haircut or their kid's parent teacher conference...that's just not how we work anymore, right?" The idea that no one would have to prioritize work over important meetings or appointments sounds great, but is it really true?

Anyone who has been a full-time working parent, trying to manage a career and raise kids at the same time, knows how difficult it can be. Many employers have transitioned to allowing hybrid or fully-remote work, but this comes with challenges, too.

Being able to work from home or work in a hybrid format does allow moms to be more present with their kids. However, according to the KPMG Working Parents Survey, fully in-office working parents report being more content with their career progression opportunities than hybrid or remote employees.

On the other hand, parents who worked from home reported greater satisfaction with the time they spent with their families and were less stressed about balancing work and parenting. This implies that working parents have to choose between being fully satisfied with their work and being satisfied at home.

According to the Pew Research Center, most parents agree that striking a work-family balance is hard. 60% of mothers surveyed said that it's difficult for them to balance work and a family. And although they were more likely than fathers to say this, 52% of working dads said the same.

On top of struggling to balance work and parenting responsibilities, feeling like there's never enough time is another challenge of being a working mom. The Pew Research Center also reported that four-in-ten full-time working moms said they always feel rushed and 50% said they sometimes feel rushed.

Shortly after I first became a working mom, I quit my job to become a middle school teacher. Education is one of the industries with the highest percentage of working moms. Teaching is also often suggested as a mom-friendly career.

Despite being touted as "mom-friendly," I missed out on a lot as a teacher. I remember having to wait for someone to find a sub if I needed to leave when my kid was sick. I remember having to stay until 6 or 7 pm when we had mandatory school events. Most of all, I remember the hours I spent working at home because there wasn't enough planning time during the day.

In her interview with podcast host Steven Bartlett, Grede said, "Work-life balance is your problem – it's yours to figure out. It isn't the employer's responsibility." But this idea ignores the fact that there are real resources and support that employers could offer to make things easier for working parents.

Grede isn't wrong that it is often up to you as an employee to set boundaries and prioritize your own well-being. However, better parental, medical, or sick leave is also an essential resource that can make balance easier for working parents.

Working moms and parents in general are some of the most resilient employees. 76% of working parents even said that having kids made them more motivated at work. But if we say work-life balance isn't the responsibility of the employer, it makes it more difficult for working moms to get the support they need. Instead, working moms should be able to advocate for the support they need in the workplace, allowing them to have a successful career while also being present for their kids.