Helpful or Harmful? Everything You Need to Know About Snowplow Parents

When your child faces an obstacle, what do you do? Do you move Heaven and Earth to ensure they successfully escape their dilemma? Do you step in and handle the problem for them? If so, you may be a snowplow parent.

Let's Talk About It: What Is a Snowplow Parent?

Closely related to helicopter parents, snowplow parents seek to remove all obstacles from their children's paths so they never face adversity. They are also sometimes called lawnmower parents or bulldozer parents because of how they mow down or bulldoze anything in their child's way.

This parenting style is slightly different from helicopter parenting because instead of swooping in to save a child from a problem, a snowplow parent will eliminate any issues before their child actually encounters them.

What's Wrong with Snowplow Parenting?

According to WebMD, children of snowplow parents often grow up to face even more challenges than kids of other parents. More often than not, these children don't try to develop coping or problem-solving skills because there's no need to. Their parents will make sure they get into any activity or make any sports team they try out for. While their peers are learning from their mistakes, these children don't learn to deal with failure and face challenges related to their lack of resilience when they become adults.

This lack of skill development can lead kids to think that they're not capable of doing something. For example, if a parent keeps tying a child's shoes for them, they may think that they can't tie their own shoes, even if it is a developmentally appropriate skill for kids their age. The same idea can apply to everything from math homework to playing the piano. If your parent is always doing it for you, you may start to think that you can't do it yourself.

As kids get older, these issues can have social implications as well. Children who are used to having everything go their way may have a hard time making or keeping friends, especially since they haven't developed the resilience or rule-following skills that their peers have.

Sometimes, if snowplow parenting continues into college, parents will even call their children every day to make sure they are waking up for class and studying. They'll help kids with assignments and internship applications. This can lead to a lack of self-sufficiency and even anxiety from young adults who don't feel like they can meet their parents' expectations.

Some of the consequences of snowplow parenting include problems with self-esteem, feelings of entitlement, and increased risk for codependent relationships.

Are There Any Advantages to Snowplow Parenting?

The upside to snowplow parenting only comes in the short term, says an article on VeryWell. Snowplow parents often help their kids achieve higher grades, avoid detentions, make competitive sports teams, and get into good colleges. But these may or may not be true achievements if they are only accomplished by parents appealing to or bullying teachers, coaches, and other adults so that the child gets his or her way.

Why is Snowplow Parenting Popular Now?

Social media is causing many parents (and even some kids) to become ultra-competitive with each other. With everyone wanting the lead in the school play, the best travel sports team, and the most trophies and awards, it's easy to get caught up in the rat race and start stepping in for your kids. Technology also makes it easier to contact your kid's teachers and coaches to advocate (or over-advocate) for your child.

Parents also consume a lot of negative media, which makes them think that their children are in danger at all times. This can cause some parents to feel overprotective and to try to monitor their children constantly. With watches and phones that allow parents to track their children's movements, it's easier than ever before to make sure your kids are in the safe zone and doing what they're supposed to be doing.

How Can You Avoid Becoming a Snowplow Parent?

Many parents start to see tendencies toward ineffective parenting before they become full-blown. The best way to avoid snowplow parenting is to make sure you're allowing your child to make their own mistakes and then resolve any issues that arise from those mistakes. Let your children participate in age-appropriate activities without stepping in to help or provide advice.

For little kids, this might mean letting them climb one or two levels higher on the playground equipment than you are comfortable with. For bigger kids, consider allowing them to bike to a friend's house or the library with the promise that they will text or call when they get there.

Next, make sure you're letting your kids handle the consequences of mistakes and failures themselves. Don't email the teacher to make excuses if your kid doesn't complete their homework, or demand that your child be placed on a sports team when they didn't make the cut. Remember, not all consequences are life-altering – kids will learn resilience by not making every team or falling short of a 4.0 GPA. So, focus on long-term goals and big-picture results to avoid discouragement from smaller setbacks. This teaches kids that learning how to solve short-term or small problems can lead to a better life overall.

Similarly, you need to lead by example and accept your own mistakes and failures with grace and composure. Try to set aside your own anxiety and self-consciousness to be a good example for your kids when it comes to handling setbacks.

Sometimes, it can be hard to step back from snowplow parenting, but doing so can help your child learn to handle the challenges life throws their way confidently and efficiently.

The image featured at the top of this post is ©Nicoleta Ionescu/Shutterstock.com.