Your Partner’s Pregnancy To-Do List

Upon learning that you’re going to have a baby, your first instinct is likely to feel immediately overwhelmed, especially if this is your first child. What will happen? What will your baby be like? How much will it cost? There’s a lot to consider. However, you can make the process much easier by getting your partner involved from day one.

In this pregnancy to-do list, we’ll tell you everything you should expect during the next nine months and how your partner can help you along the way. From how to provide emotional support during the first trimester to what to do when you bring your baby in the front door the first time, there’s a lot to know. Get your partner well-versed on this list, and you’ll set each other up for success and be the best parents you can be.

First Trimester (Weeks 1-12)

Our pregnancy to-do list begins with the first trimester, where things are new and extremely exciting. With so much to think about, you’ll need your partner at your side through it all. Here are ways they can help with your many needs:

Emotional Support

Your hormones will shift rapidly during the first trimester, and emotions may be unpredictable. Your partner needs to understand that and show empathy through it all. They should know that a day could be filled with intense mood swings, from crying to extreme happiness. Your partner needs to embrace it all with sympathy, patience, and properly-placed humor.

Encourage your partner to check in regularly. Simple questions like, “Is anything extra hard right now?” or “How are you feeling today?” can go a long way. However, your partner should also understand that sometimes you may not want to talk and respect that decision.

Reassurance is key during this time, especially if this is your first child. While it may be difficult to think about, there may be thoughts about potential symptoms, the idea of a miscarriage, and anything that doesn’t feel normal. Tell your partner to be patient during this time.

Also, your partner doesn’t need to fix everything. Simple reassurances like “I’m here for you” and “We’ll figure this out together” may be most helpful. Remind your partner that not all symptoms are visible, and that they will need to be there for you if you feel nausea, exhaustion, or potential hormone shifts.

Physical Support

While the first trimester isn’t the most difficult when it comes to getting around, going to work, or doing things around the house, your partner should still show support. The first trimester can often include extreme fatigue as life begins to form in your body. As a result, you may need more naps or earlier bedtimes. Ensure your partner knows that a change in your schedule may be coming.

Since nausea can strike at any time, ask your partner to be on standby for snacks that can ease your discomfort. Apple slices, crackers, and pretzels usually do the trick. As does any beverage that contains plenty of electrolytes. Finally, always keep a water bottle by your side.

Over time, your partner can also learn what scents trigger your nausea and try to keep the offenders away. Every woman is different. Sometimes it’s the smell of onions or the trash bin.

A mix of fatigue, anxiety, and driving a vehicle doesn’t always go hand-in-hand. So, it may be nice if your partner can drive you to your appointments whenever possible. Advise your partner to also be on call in case you’re not well enough to run errands, such as going to the grocery store.

Household Support

This is when your partner’s pregnancy to-do list is really going to keep them busy. If you’re sensitive to strange smells during your first trimester, your partner can help to alleviate many of them by taking out the trash, cleaning dirty dishes, and cooking meals that don’t involve strong scents.

If your partner isn’t currently the primary chef in the house, it may be time to learn a few recipes. (Thankfully, we've got plenty of easy recipes for them to choose from!) They should know that your preferences could change at a moment’s notice. So, they can learn a variety of simple dishes that they can prepare on demand. 

Advise your partner that it would help if they could assist with chores and tasks around the house that you may not be up for. These may include vacuuming, sweeping, or washing a load of clothes. Again, if they’re not well-versed on these tasks, this is the time to learn.

Finally, your partner can help to take the mental load off your shoulders by starting a physical or digital calendar. They should write down your upcoming doctor visits, tests, and reminders. They can also help to keep track of your symptoms in case the information is necessary for your doctor later on.

Second Trimester (Weeks 13-27)

Your partner’s pregnancy to-do list will become a bit more complicated during the second trimester. Things are getting a bit more serious at this point, so you and your partner will need to be ready to react accordingly. Here are some tips to keep in mind:

Emotional Support

At this point, you’re likely going to get much more excited about the idea that you’ll soon be having a baby. Your partner should show enthusiasm and support you. This is a nice time to start considering some nursery colors and baby names. Doctor appointments may become more frequent, so encourage your partner to stay engaged during these meetings and to remember the important details. 

Your body will be changing at a more rapid pace during this trimester, and your partner should be supportive of this change. A good partner will compliment you frequently and remind you that you’re doing an amazing job as you carry this baby. A great way to provide emotional support during this time is to celebrate the small milestones along the way, such as the ultrasound photos, first kicks, and the time you spend crib shopping.

Physical Support

While it may be a bit more difficult to get around during the second trimester, you’re still going to want to do some light exercise to stay in shape. Gentle movements such as walking, prenatal yoga, and light stretching can benefit your body during this time. A pivotal part of your partner’s pregnancy to-do list is to join you in these activities and encourage you along the way. 

Your partner should also work on prioritizing your comfort during this phase. Simple actions like plumping and rearranging pillows and giving foot and back rubs can make a world of difference. Both you and your partner will want to keep up healthy habits. Task your partner with helping you to maintain your healthy habits by cooking healthy meals, refilling your water bottle, and encouraging an earlier bedtime. 

Household Support

Your partner can be a big help in the second trimester, especially when it comes to setting up the baby’s room, building the crib and other furniture, and any other heavy lifting. There’s no point in waiting until the week the baby’s due to get these things done. 

Then, task your partner with helping with some of the mental load that goes into researching the best car seats, strollers, and baby monitors. Then, talk it out and decide on the final purchase together. It’s also at this time that your husband should help with some of the heavier or more awkward tasks, like carrying groceries and lifting laundry baskets. 

Finally, this is a good time to work on financial prep. Have your partner help review insurance and update budgets. You should also take this time to plan your parental leave from work.

Third Trimester (Weeks 28-Birth)

This is it! The final months before your wonderful bundle of joy arrives in your life. This is absolutely the time when your partner must be on top of their pregnancy to-do list. Both of you will be emotionally and physically exhausted, but try to do your best. In the end, it will all pay off.

Emotional Support

Your partner’s primary purpose during this phase is to stay strong. Things may get hectic, and the anticipation for the baby will be at an all-time high. You have permission to freak out, but your partner should remain calm and be the rock you need to stay steady. Be proactive during this time. If your partner notices that you’re getting stressed, they should act quickly and help you to de-stress.

Finally, your partner should use this chance to support you and boost your confidence whenever necessary. They should be there to tell you how well you’re doing and to celebrate your wins so you can be happy.

Physical Support

There’s no doubt about it. Getting around will be more challenging during the third trimester, so your partner will often have to help you along. Your partner can also help with tasks that may include bending, reaching, or grasping for items out of reach. If you enjoy massages, then your partner can help there, too. A 10-minute massage of the shoulders, hips, feet, and back can do wonders for aches and pains. 

Your partner should also be there to help you slow down and relax. They should create a calming atmosphere when you want to sleep and keep unnecessary noise to a minimum. Finally, your partner should be glad to attend your birth classes and offer their full participation. This is possibly the best way they can support you while you’re learning about this important milestone.

Household Support

Now that you’re reaching the final stage of your pregnancy, it’s time for your partner to take a much more significant role around the house. Since it’s harder for you to get around, they should take over all chores and household responsibilities. This doesn’t mean that you are incapable of doing things on your own, but if you’re feeling tired, your partner should be able to pick up the slack. 

It’s also during this time that your partner should help to finalize all baby readiness tasks around the house. That includes baby proofing outlets, tables, and sharp corners. It also means setting up cribs, changing stations, and other furniture. Also, take this time to purchase and store plenty of diapers and install the car seat. 

Prepare for postpartum by stocking up for the weeks after the baby is born, when you’re both exhausted while caring for a hungry and crying baby. Stock up on freezer meals, pantry goods, toilet paper, paper towels, and anything else you depend on each day. Your future selves will thank you!

Labor and Delivery

When you suddenly find out that you’re about to give birth, and you’re rushing to the hospital, the idea of a to-do list may go out the window. That’s why you and your partner need to prepare in advance. You and your partner both need to stay calm. Both of you must also remember that although it’s a stressful time, you have highly qualified nurses and doctors to make the process go as smoothly as possible. 

Your partner should be instructed to follow your lead during the delivery. If you’re silent, your partner should probably be silent too. If you want encouragement, your partner should be ready to provide that encouragement. Finally, your partner needs to know that this moment is all about you. All attention should be on you. That means phones away, TV off, and any other distractions at a minimum. Then you can go through this special experience together. 

Post Partum

There’s no joy quite as imaginable as having a new baby and bringing your son or daughter home for the first time. It’s a wonderful experience, but your partner’s pregnancy to-do list doesn’t end just because the baby is born. Your partner should be encouraged to share the workload. They should want to help change diapers, feed the baby (if and when necessary), and take part in your baby’s daily life. Both you and your partner should talk to the baby often to help encourage his or her language skills and keep your baby engaged.

Even if you follow this to-do list to the letter, remember that there will likely be some stumbling blocks along the way. Nothing goes perfectly when you have a new baby. Every child is different, and you’ll need to adjust when necessary. Just do your best, and you and your partner will raise a smart and successful child.

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