Date Night at Home After Baby: Lower the Bar, Raise the Connection

As a new parent, one of the most commonly heard pieces of advice you’re likely to hear is how important it is to stay connected as a couple after your baby is born. People will tell you how to keep the fire in your relationship and the importance of remaining a well-connected unit. However, once your baby is born and you bring your bundle of joy home, life can get hectic quickly.

For a while, the last thing on your mind will likely be relationship building and going on dates. It’s especially difficult early on when you don’t have a nearby family member or babysitter who can step in and watch your baby when you leave the house. Still, it is important that you keep your relationship strong and commit to having date nights after baby.

In this guide, we’ll explain the importance of staying connected as a couple and share many fun date ideas you can enjoy without leaving the house. You’ll find that when you really think about it, staying connected doesn’t require fancy dinners or long vacations. Heed this advice, and you’ll have a happy family unit.

Why Connection Still Matters

Although you may have heard the advice a million times, it is very important to stay connected as a couple and have date nights after baby. It’s vital because you need to remain a cohesive unit for the sake of your child. There is a lot of work involved when you have a baby, and staying on the same page is paramount. That requires talking to one another and being there for each other. 

If you work together and stay connected emotionally, you can depend on each other when the workload becomes tough to handle. Talking and splitting responsibilities will help reduce the natural stress of a newborn. You’ll also be able to understand each other's needs, so you can balance the division of labor your baby requires.

Finally, staying connected is essential for your emotional health. It prevents either one of you from feeling too isolated, which can eventually lead to depression. Finally, maintaining a connection will help to provide the emotional and sexual intimacy that can often naturally decline for many couples during this phase of life. Once you lose your emotional connection, it can be hard to regain it, so work on it now.

Ideas For Date Nights After Baby

In addition to remembering to communicate, you also need to find time where you and your spouse can have some alone time so you can stay emotionally connected. The first step is to realize that you may not be able to leave the house on a given date. Instead, you can redefine what a “date night” really is. A date can be as simple as 20 minutes talking on the couch after the baby goes to sleep or sharing a dessert without looking at your phones. Here are some other date ideas to consider:

Couch Dates at Nap Time

Anytime spent on the couch without distractions can be a great start to a date night. When your baby is taking a nap, you can simply talk about your day or enjoy an ice cream sundae with the TV off and the cell phones in the other room. You could also listen to music or even read books together. Remember that you’re looking for ways to enjoy time with your partner — it’s about presence, not productivity.

Have Food Delivered

Many people associate date nights with dinner, but that’s harder to do with a newborn and no sitter. So, instead, bring dinner to you. Whether your baby is sleeping or not, you can still enjoy a date when the food comes. Make it special by lowering the lights or eating by candlelight. Eat your meal slowly and intentionally. Really try to savor it. If your baby needs assistance, go help and then come back. Put your phones away and focus on one another. Even one peaceful meal together per week can help you to feel grounded.

Late Afternoon Mini Date

Since evenings can be unpredictable with a newborn, you may need to plan your date for a different time of the day. Sometimes, the sweet spot between getting home from work and preparing dinner can provide some room for connection. A date around this time could revolve around sitting in the kitchen while enjoying a cup of coffee, a mocktail, or a snack. You could sit outside or by a window and let the sunlight wash over you. You could even try to make this a regular part of your routine for that essential connection.

Watch a Movie (Or Part of One)

You’ll find that once you have a child, the way you watch movies will change drastically. In addition to choosing to watch more innocent fare for the sake of your child, you’ll also find that you have less time for movies. But that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy them during your “dates.” 

Find a movie you both want to watch and try to enjoy it, all or part, when your baby is napping or sleeping at night. Understand that you may not be able to watch it all at once. That idea can make it a bit more fun. Plan a time each day to watch part of the movie, and by the end of the week, you’ll have completed it. Remember, it’s all about sharing an experience.

Dessert-Only Date Night

If you don’t have time for dinner, skip it. Instead, make the night special by having dessert instead. This is a great way to mix things up and add some variety to your days. Share brownies, ice cream, or a few cookies. Add a cup of tea or hot chocolate. Enjoy this time once your baby is settled. Then, talk about your day and enjoy each other’s company.

Living Room Picnic

Many of your date nights after baby may involve other rooms in the house, especially the living room. One fun idea is to have a living room picnic. Find an open space and lay out a blanket, then put out some simple snacks and finger foods. You can have your picnic while your baby sleeps or sits nearby in the bassinet. This is a low-effort activity that you can do almost any time, but it’s a novel idea that will keep things fresh.

Shared Wind-Down Ritual

You can enjoy any of the activities we’ve mentioned or anything else you like to do during your own wind-down ritual once your baby finally falls asleep for the night or a nap. Do something you enjoy during this time. It could be catching up on one of your favorite shows or just talking on the couch. Perhaps yoga or meditation may settle your nerves. Again, the point is that you enjoy something together.

Low-Key Game Night

All of your date nights after baby don’t have to be quiet and contemplative. You can also let loose by having a weekly game night once your baby goes to sleep. It can include your favorite board, card, or video game. There are also fun card games out there that encourage conversation. Perhaps a trivia game is exactly what you need to keep your minds sharp after a day of baby talk. Do whatever you like. You’ll have a good time and blow off some steam in the process.

Memory-Sharing Date

Whether your baby is sleeping or awake, if you can’t afford a sitter, you can sit in your favorite spot and reflect on your favorite memories. You could talk about your favorite early memories when you first started dating and getting to know each other. It can also be fun to reflect on the thoughts you had before you became parents and how they have changed today. During this time, you can also share hopes for the future and have a great time planning what comes next.

Baby Duty Date

Just because you can’t get a sitter now, it doesn't mean you won’t get one in the future. So, for now, why not spend time together doing things for the baby so you don’t have to do it later? You might spend this time prepping bottles or meal planning for the week. This may also be a time when you can accomplish household chores like folding laundry or making the bed together.

Outdoor Macro-Date

When your child goes to sleep, take the baby monitor and have an outside date. Sit on the balcony or lie out in the backyard and get some fresh air. It will be a change of pace and scenery that will help you to decompress. It’s almost guaranteed that you’ll feel better after. If the baby is awake, take a walk through the neighborhood with the stroller. There are always fun things to see, and it will be great to connect outside of the house.

Bottom Line: Make Time

The lesson here is that it’s essential to make time to reconnect emotionally when you have the opportunity. Whatever activity you choose, try to make it a goal to spend at least 10 minutes together every day. While your baby will be the priority at this time, you can’t let your relationship go by the wayside. Make time to enjoy each other as a family, and you’ll have a long and promising future.

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