Parenting in the Age of Sharenting: What Every Parent Needs to Know

You snap a picture of your 2-year-old enjoying their first bubble bath. Or your child mispronounces a word in the most adorable way, and you captured it on video. There are so many cute moments on your camera roll just clamoring to be shared with the world — but should they? In this age of sharenting, knowing what’s appropriate to post (and what’s not) is important for your child’s safety, success in the future, and even their self-esteem. 

But what is sharenting? Sharenting is when parents or other caregivers share images or videos of their children online and on social media. More often than not, this is done without the child’s knowledge or permission. Sharenting might not seem like a big deal, but this practice can be particularly dangerous, like when you upload an image of your 4-year-old posing with their backpack for the first day of school, and the school’s name is clearly visible.  

To help you keep your kids safe, we talk to licensed psychologists to discover what every parent needs to know about sharing information online.

How Much Sharenting Is Too Much?

It might seem innocent enough, but everything you post online has the potential to be problematic for your child in the future. “Sharenting becomes too much when we forget that our children are future adults, not just extensions of ourselves,” says Dr. Robyn Koslowitz, PhD, a licensed child psychologist. “That moment of your toddler throwing a tantrum, or potty training, belongs not just to your current child — but also to the future adult they are becoming, who may not want that image shared widely.”

So, how do you gauge what could be funny now, but not so much for your child in the future? Koslowitz has the answer. “A simple rule I suggest: If your child, at 15 or 35, might feel uncomfortable about it being public, don’t post it,” she says.

Ask Yourself: Why Are You Sharenting?

It’s one thing to text pictures of your child to your parents for them to ooh and aah over, but it’s another when you’re tempted to post that reel of your child eating out of the dog’s bowl on TikTok. “As a parent, it’s important to regularly pause and ask, ‘Am I sharing for my child’s benefit — or my own?’” says Dr. Jennifer Politis, PhD, LPC, ACS, an educational psychologist and Founder & CEO of Wellness Counseling.

Listen, there’s nothing wrong with wanting some extra likes, but it’s not worth it if it puts your child at risk of being embarrassed when they’re older. So even if you’re tempted to put your baby’s blowout on TikTok…don’t. 

How Can You Sharent Responsibly?

The dangers of sharenting can’t be overstated. Someone with ill intentions can easily pick apart pictures looking for clues to find out information that you definitely don’t want out there, like your address, where your child goes to school, places you frequent, and your daily routines. Still, you can sharent if you put some precautions in place. “Limit sharing to small, closed spaces — family WhatsApp groups, private parent groups — where you know and trust every face behind every screen,” advises Koslowitz. 

“Use privacy settings wisely, limit your audience, and consider blurring or not showing your child’s face,” Politis adds. “Most importantly, respect your child's right to consent: if they are old enough to understand, ask them before sharing a photo or story involving them.”

How Can You Sharent If You're An Influencer?

You’re not one to brag, but you do have a decent number of followers on IG, and all of them love videos of your baby. Still, this is your child, and not just a source of content to crank out daily. “Influencing brings real responsibility — and the first reminder is that your child didn’t choose the audience, you did,” says Koslowitz.

Be sure to have some serious boundaries that you abide by in choosing what goes online and what stays private. “Set specific limits about what parts of family life are never shared,” Politis adds. And instead of putting your kiddos in front of the camera, you can focus your posts on your own experiences as a parent.

“Influencing can build community and connection—but it should never come at the cost of a child's dignity or peace of mind,” says Koslowitz.

What Are The Potential Dangers Of Sharenting?

If it seems that sharenting has more negatives than positives, well, that’s because it does. “Children today inherit not just our genetics, but our digital choices,” Politis explains. “Oversharing can lead to serious issues later — including privacy breaches, identity theft, cyberbullying, and emotional harm if peers or strangers access personal moments.”

And if you’re telling your child’s story, you rob them of the right to share it when (and if) they want to. Over time, this could lead to trust issues, poor identity development, and a loss of autonomy.

Listen, you love your child, so naturally, you want the world to adore them, too. Before you hit “post”, pause for a moment and determine if that pic or video is really worth sharing with a whole lot of strangers. As Koslowitz points out: “Protect your child’s emotional safety first — even when the algorithm rewards exposure.” 

The image featured at the top of this post is ©CokaPoka/Shutterstock.com.