7 Parenting “Rules” That May Not Be as Beneficial as You Think

Being a parent is no walk in the park. Over the centuries, there have been societal rules for parents that have come and gone. Yet not all of these parenting "rules" are good for parents and families. They can stress out parents and make them feel like there's only one way to do their jobs. These rules may affect the relationship between the child and the parent as well. Of course, societal expectations have changed throughout time, but some rules don't benefit kids in any period.

While there are certainly too many rules to name, here are some of the most common parenting rules that may not be as beneficial as you think.

This post was updated in December 2025 to include updated information and additional editorial enhancements.

Several Redditors in this post shared the parenting rules they refuse to enforce on their kids. One of the most common ones was forcing children to clear their plates. This is typically done by refusing to allow a child to get up from the table until they finish their entire plate. It makes sense to some parents because they don't want to waste food. After all, food prices have fluctuated in recent years, and concerns about waste remain common for many families.

Studies have shown that forcing kids to eat their entire plate is the opposite of beneficial. This can teach them to ignore the body signals that let them know when they are full. It can also promote an unhealthy relationship with food as they grow.

Instead, one tip while preparing a meal is to add healthy food items to the plate you know your child will eat. This way, they are at least getting some nutrients from food you know they like. Additionally, giving your child fewer portions can help them get the nutrients they need but not feel forced to eat more than their body wants.

To some, making their kids show affection to others is a good idea. After all, they want their children to be respectful. Other times, some adults simply don't want their family or friends to feel offended. However, teaching a child to ignore physical autonomy and their decision-making isn't good for anyone. All it is doing is stroking another person's ego.

Making a child hug another person, especially an adult, just because they asked isn't beneficial. It teaches them that they should always do what another adult or person asks, just to be respectful. Additionally, this practice teaches children to ignore the inner cues that tell them something is wrong. Not every person is a safe person. Simply because a person is an adult doesn't mean your child has to automatically respect them and give up their own autonomy to make them happy.

It's more important to teach your child about consent and how they can healthily handle these situations.

Sometimes, parents feel the pressure to make sure their child matches and looks tidy at all times. This is especially true when they venture out into public. However, sometimes children have very eccentric styles, and you have to choose which hill you are willing to die on. Sometimes, there are bigger hills that are more important.

Worrying about your child matching all the time is a battle that can put immense stress on parents, especially if you have a child who has a very unique style. Sometimes, kids just like what they like. Not to mention, how we dress can outwardly express our personality, likes, and more. Children love to be free enough to explore what they love and don't love, even if it's not what their parents like.

A shared parenting saying is 'because I said so.' This is often used to get children to comply and accept the rules or consequences as is. It is also used as a cop-out, not to explain anything to children.

Children are naturally curious. Additionally, while respect is important during communication, children should be allowed to ask questions. Questioning rules, boundaries, or why things are the way they are isn't always bad. It can encourage children to go beyond what they are told, understand, and research things for themselves.

Sometimes, it's easy to have the mindset that 'I am the parent, I don't need to apologize." However, this mindset actually can do more harm than good.

Children need to see the adults in their lives own up to their mistakes. It teaches them that you can make mistakes at any age. It also gives children an example of humility.

Additionally, when you don't own up to your mistakes, especially if you have hurt your child, that can do plenty of damage to your parent/child relationship.

"Sharing is caring." Do you remember that saying? But when was the last time you, as an adult, shared something important to you, like a laptop, with someone? Just because they wanted it. Telling our children to share their things just because another child wants them doesn't benefit either child in any way.

Children who want to share their things should be encouraged to do so. However, if a child has a toy that is important to them or even new, forcing them to share doesn't teach them anything.

Forcing a child to share may give a foothold to building resentment. Furthermore, it takes away their ownership. Forced sharing teaches the other child that they should get something simply because they want it.

Sometimes, it can feel like society is demanding way too much from us as parents. This pressures us to expect more from our children than they can give us. Every child grows at their own pace. It's also important to consider what is age-appropriate behavior. For example, a two-year-old will be unable to sit still for long periods physically. It's unreasonable to expect anything of the sort.

Ignoring age-appropriate behavior and expecting too much from children is not beneficial. Doing so can cause frustration for both parents and the child. Furthermore, ignoring age-appropriate milestones and what is normal behavior may set your child up for failure.

Society can put a ton of pressure on parents. This is one reason all these parenting rules stick around for much longer than they should. While this list could be a lot longer, the rules on this list do not serve parents or children much good, so if you would rather forget about them, go for it. After all, they aren't all that beneficial to families.