From Learning New Things to Growing in Independence: How to Tell When Your Child Is Thriving in Daycare

Society puts a lot of pressure on parents, especially moms, regarding sending their child to daycare. The “mom guilt” can be strong when you drop your kid off for the day. And yet, many parents report their kids love attending daycare. And even better, they believe their children are thriving.

A recent post went viral in the r/Parenting Reddit thread when a parent exclaimed, “I loooooove daycare.” If this is a choice you've considered for your family, you might wonder what signs to look for that your child is thriving in daycare, and some of the benefits you may not even know about.

The Reddit Post That Spoke for Millions of Moms

The poster that ignited the viral Reddit threat said, “I can’t believe society tried to scare me about daycare. I loooooove daycare. My daughter is only 1, but it feels like she’s already in preschool, they teach them so much! She loves it! She’s a smart, social, silly little gal and so happy. Her teachers are so nice and caring. Anyway, just wanted to get that out there when there are so many horror stories out there and so many people acting like you’re a bad parent if you put your babies in daycare. Daycare is amazing.”

Many in the comments agreed with responses such as, “My youngest thrived in daycare,” “It’s been such a blessing to have a good daycare,” and “Mine made so many developmental leaps so quickly when he started daycare!”

The Many Perks of Group Care

The evidence on the benefits of daycare is not just anecdotal. The research supports it. Research has shown that kids in high-quality daycares have increased school readiness. In a press release from a recent study published in the journal Developmental Psychology, study author Andres S. Bustamante explained that kids who attended high-quality daycare programs did better in STEM subjects in high school. Bustamante said, “Investing in quality child care and early childhood education could help remedy the underrepresentation of racially and ethnically diverse populations in the STEM field.”

Beyond learning academics, daycare provides kids with an environment where they learn how to cooperate and get along with their peers and adults. Research shows that when children play with other kids, they may reach developmental milestones faster.

When young kids attend group care, they grow socially and emotionally as they learn to interact with others. One commenter in the thread said, “Daycare is marvelous! How wonderful for our children to have full lives and more people to love them!”

In group situations, kids learn the important life skills of being a good person, such as being patient, waiting their turn, and sharing. And finally, by forming a bond with an empathetic caregiver, they learn the world is a safe place with trusted adults. This can help kids avoid separation anxiety when beginning school.

What Thriving in Daycare Actually Looks Like

Is your child thriving in daycare? Experts suggest you look for some of the following behaviors:

• They look forward to going to daycare (on most days). Everyone has their off days, but most of the time, is your child joyful to wake up and get ready to leave the house for group care?
• If they are old enough to communicate, do they talk about people or activities when they are at home with you?
• Do you get positive feedback from teachers and daycare providers when you pick your child up? Note that when daycare workers happily share stories about your child, it generally means they care and are invested in the child's well-being.
• Do they show more independence, such as feeding themselves or putting on their own clothes? Daycare is great at encouraging kids to try things for themselves, and when they have success, their confidence grows.
• On the other hand, if you see red flags, such as increased meltdowns or if your child is regulated at home but dysregulated at daycare, you may want to investigate if your daycare is right for your child.

Why Daycare Might Just Make You a More Patient Parent

We aren't here to say that choosing daycare is better than being a stay-at-home parent. Motherhood isn't one-size-fits-all. It's important as parents that we support one another and embrace the differences. Some moms and dads may thrive at being the caregiver who stays at home with the kids. Others may need a break or some help to avoid getting overwhelmed or overstimulated by caring for very young children.

Daycare has some amazing benefits for parents. If you know your child is safe and well cared for, you can relax and get a much-needed mental break. Caring for young kids full-time can be intense, and some people find it takes away from their sense of identity.

One commenter said of daycare, “It makes me a better mom.” While another agrees, “Some people just aren’t the type that can thrive spending 10+ hours a day keeping their children stimulated mentally and physically.”

Finally, one commenter praised the fact that daycare teaches her kids the basics without her needing to be a teacher, “My favorite thing about daycare is I’ll be hanging out with my toddler and I’m like ‘oh wow, okay you know the alphabet now!' or ‘wait when did you learn your shapes?' and I didn’t have to be the teacher.”

The image featured at the top of this post is ©Natalia Deriabina/Shutterstock.com