These 3 Families Have Children With Autism. They Have Some Words for RFK Jr.

Austism has been a hot topic in the news lately, especially after Robert F. Kennedy Jr., U.S. Health and Human Services Secretary, made controversial statements about autism in April 2025. Per PolitiFact, RFK Jr. claimed that “autism destroys families” and that people with autism “will never pay taxes, they’ll never hold a job, they’ll never play baseball, they’ll never write a poem, they’ll never go out on a date,” and many “will never use a toilet unassisted.”

People with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) may behave, communicate, interact, and learn differently from others, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, whose April 2025 report showed that autism diagnoses are rising in 8-year-olds. However, because it is a spectrum, no two people with autism act exactly the same. And while it is true that some individuals with autism may need help using the bathroom or writing, many parents of children with autism would disagree that it destroys families.

ASD occurs in all racial, ethnic, and socioeconomic groups at a rate of about 1 in 31 children, with boys being more than three times more likely to have an ASD diagnosis than girls. We spoke to three moms about raising children with autism to help uncover what they want people to understand about the diagnosis, as well as how they felt about RFK Jr.’s statements.

A Boy With an ‘Infectious Laugh’

Kate Lynch’s 14-year-old son, Ocean, is a multitude of things. He's kind and hard-working. He has an infectious laugh, a sharp wit, and a curious mind. According to his mom, “Ocean also gets distracted easily by his own inner world, needs a lot of movement to regulate his nervous system, has low frustration tolerance, and has a hard time getting non-preferred tasks done.”

All of these things make up his amazing and unique personality, with an autism diagnosis being just a small part of who he is.

“Autism isn't a curse, it's a difference,” Lynch, author of Atypical Kids, Mindful Parents blog, says. “The name of the diagnosis may be catching on, but neurodivergent people have always existed.”

Ocean was first diagnosed with ASD at 3 years old, when his mom noticed meltdowns and coordination delays. He had words, although his speech was different from other kids’, and he had social/emotional differences.

“He has been well-supported,” Lynch says about her son’s health journey. He has support through his Individualized Education Program (IEP) and via his mom. She says, “I made it my life’s work to learn how to parent him.”

“I follow his cues and break down life skills into small steps for him,” she explains, adding that Ocean also has neurodivergent friends who share similar interests.

One thing she wishes was different, though? That people were more accepting of others’ differences.

Lynch wants our laws to support this goal, too. “Without the ADA and IDEA, laws that disabled people fought for, I don’t know where we would be,” she says. “We can’t afford to pay privately for his therapies. Still, the way these laws are undermined is criminal. Hoarding resources, making already overwhelmed parents jump through hurdles to get what their kids are legally entitled to, lying to parents about their rights.”

In the past, RFK, Jr. has made statements alleging that childhood vaccines cause autism. This claim has long been touted by anti-vaccine advocates despite a large number of studies debunking it. A little under 14 years ago, Lynch admits that she was one of those people who decided to skip vaccines after being convinced that they could be harmful.

She says now, she would not make the same choice.

“Because of our choices, Ocean was diagnosed with autism years before his first vaccine,” Lynch shares. “He's a testament to the truth: vaccines don't cause autism, neurodivergent traits passed down through families do.”

At the end of the day, Lynch just wants acceptance for her tight-knit family.

“We're a close, happy family with a bit more stress because of the differences in our communication styles, and the need to advocate for support for Ocean,” she says. “Acceptance of differences shouldn't be so difficult. If our culture could shed its ableism, our family would have a much easier time navigating life.”

Autism Is Not a ‘Flaw’

After displaying low-to-no verbal tendencies, except when it came to numbers, letters, and shapes; needing consistent prep to go to the grocery store; rocking back and forth when overstimulated; and fixating on sounds, songs, and small objects, Christina Collura’s son Luca was diagnosed with autism at the age of 3.

Luca experiences the world a little differently. He communicates in his own way, avoids loud places, and sees things others might miss. His mom shares, “Luca feels things deeply; notices patterns, sounds, and details that others overlook; and often needs more time, more space, or a different way of doing things.”

Luca is just a regular boy who wants people to understand him and see what he can do. He also wants others to accept him, not just tolerate him. “I’m not broken. I’m not less. I’m just me,” Luca tells his mom.

“I wish that people would stop telling me they are sorry or ask me if he will get better,” Collura says. “There is nothing to be sorry about. He is not broken. He doesn’t need to be ‘fixed’ or ‘get better’ — because he’s not less. He’s not a tragedy. He’s my son. And he’s incredible exactly as he is.”

Collura, a single mom to two boys, an educator, an award-winning entrepreneur, an autism advocate, and a children's book author, continues, “When someone asks me if he’ll ever ‘get better,' I can’t help but pause. Better than what? Than who? He’s already thriving in his own way — learning, growing, and showing us all the magic of seeing the world through a different lens.”

If there’s one thing Collura wishes people knew, it’s this: “Autism is not a flaw — it’s a part of who my son is.” She adds, “A part of what makes him thoughtful, creative, intuitive, and beautifully unique.”

Instead of offering sympathy or pity, Collura wants people to offer acceptance when they hear of Luca’s diagnosis. “Instead of asking if he’ll change, ask how you can support and celebrate him — just as he is.”

She also shared her feelings on the current politics surrounding autism and what she wishes could be different. For example, the Seclusion and Restraint policies in schools that allow seclusion rooms or physical restraints to be put on neurodivergent or disabled students under certain circumstances.

“These practices can be traumatizing and disproportionately affect students with autism,” she explains. “These methods often prioritize control over compassion and can do long-term harm to a child’s sense of safety and trust.”

On the other hand, there isn’t a law that requires universal early intervention access, and Collura wishes there were. “There should be a law mandating free and immediate early intervention services for every child flagged as at-risk for developmental delays, no matter the waitlist or diagnostic status.”

Collura calls RFK, Jr.’s recent comments about autism “deeply hurtful and misinformed.”

“Framing autism as a tragedy only fuels stigma and erases the beauty, strength, and potential within the autism community,” she says.

“I want people to know that our family isn’t grieving a diagnosis — we’re celebrating a journey,” Collura says. “Autism has taught us to slow down, see the world differently, and embrace every small victory with big joy. My son is not a burden — he’s a gift, full of light, curiosity, and resilience. Autism isn’t the end of anything — it’s the beginning of a deeper kind of understanding, love, and purpose.”

Other Countries Do It Better

As an American living in Finland, Lauren Chaloupka sees firsthand how much better other countries support children with additional needs. Chaloupka, a UX designer, founder of the NeuroParent app that supports parents of autistic and ADHD children, and parent of a 9-year-old neurodivergent boy, shares that her son was diagnosed with autism at age 6 after receiving an ADHD diagnosis.

“The autism diagnosis was a complete shock to us,” Chaloupka says. “It seems obvious to me now, but he is my only child, and I thought it was just his personality to be overwhelmed around social communication and how he could be in loud environments or with sudden transitions. But he’s also incredibly clever, funny, and deeply empathetic in his own way.”

“My son's experience is a mix of brilliance and burnout,” Chaloupka explains. “He feels things deeply and reacts fast — joy, frustration, confusion, all of it. School can be hard because of the misguided support some adults give. But when he’s supported and safe, he thrives. He loves Minecraft, math, and making people laugh.”

The proud mom called RFK Jr.’s comments “deeply dehumanizing.”

“As a mom, it was painful to hear,” she says. “Not just because of what he said, but because I know people listen to him. We need voices that uplift our kids, not reduce them to talking points. As an American living abroad, I feel like there is little I can do.”

In Finland, she sees a community supporting children with additional needs with much more care than what she hears parents in the U.S. receive. “Schools here are more likely to work collaboratively with families and offer accommodations without making parents fight for every little thing,” she says.

Still, no system is perfect. Chaloupka wishes more people understood that children with invisible needs, like sensory overload or impulse control, need help too. “What we need everywhere, regardless of country, are laws that treat neurodivergent kids with the same dignity and flexibility we give to adults in workplaces,” she says.

“Inclusion can’t just be a checkbox — it has to be a daily practice backed by policy and real understanding.”

The image featured at the top of this post is ©Kate Lynch.