Try These Tips for Teaching Kids Responsibility (Without Losing Your Cool)

As your kids get older, you'll likely start to think more and more about how to teach them to be responsible. You'll want to teach them how to take responsibility for their actions, their chores, and ultimately, what they choose to do with their lives. As a parent, teaching kids responsibilities can sometimes be a hair-pulling experience, but that just means you need the right strategy. In this guide, we'll tell you different approaches to teaching responsibility so that you can raise kids that you're proud of without going insane.

Start With Simple Chores

The first step to teaching kids responsibilities is to show them what a responsibility is. The best way to do that is to give them simple chores to do. Many kids can start doing easy chores around the age of four. Tasks can include things like taking their clothes and putting them in their room, bringing their plate to the table at dinner, and helping mommy or daddy clean up toys.

Show the kids how to complete the tasks, and then, once they get used to them, allow them to do them alone with your supervision. These don’t have to be hardcore tasks, and you may not even call them chores at this point. However, these repetitive duties will plant a seed in their heads about what it means to be responsible for something.

Provide Clear Instructions

When you teach your kids new chores and responsibilities, make sure that your instructions are clear and simple. You can’t hold your kids accountable for their mistakes if you don’t teach them how to do things right in the first place. This is especially important for younger kids. To avoid any confusion, explain things step by step. Then, allow them to practice the chore so they know how to do it when it comes to the real deal. 

Also, you don’t want to set your standards too high because if your kids truly try and fall short, they may feel like you don’t respect or love them. Temper your own expectations, especially for the little ones. Give your kids some time to learn their responsibilities, and don’t get overly angry if they fall short, or they’ll likely feel bad, and may be hesitant to try again in the future.

Create a Chore Chart

A chore chart can be really helpful when your kids are learning to take responsibility. You can find one online or make it yourself. Make it simple. Write out the chore and the day or days of the week it is to be completed, and make a space to put a sticker whenever they complete the task. The kids will likely be thrilled to see their chore chart slowly fill up with colorful stickers, and they’ll want to continue to do their chores so they can get more stickers. Over time, you can add more elaborate chores to the chart.

Increase Responsibility Over Time

When your kids are young, give them very simple chores and responsibilities, and as they get older, increase their duties. In addition to helping them be more responsible, they may be able to take more of the load off your back. When they're ready, give them more complex chores. As they age, instead of stickers, consider providing them with an allowance. 

When you start giving your children an allowance, you also get the chance to teach them how to be responsible with their money. In some cases, you might help them get a more expensive item they have their eye on. However, telling them they have to wait until they have the money they need to purchase something is a great lesson in patience and responsibility.

Lead By Example

Even if you have younger kids, realize that they notice and pay attention more than you realize. For instance, they’ll see if you sometimes don’t complete a chore, such as leaving laundry on the floor instead of folding it and putting it in its proper place.

If you don’t lead by example and stay consistent with your own housework, your kids may do the same. Leading by example is even more important as your kids grow older because they’re likely to call you out on the fact that you didn’t complete one of your chores, and they may try to hold it against you.

Allow Your Kids to Learn from Their Mistakes

Whether you’re teaching your kids to be responsible for their chores or their actions, it may be necessary for your kids to face the natural consequences of failing to be responsible. So, if you are holding them responsible for cleaning their dish after they eat, and they fail to do so, then they may have to deal with eating off the same dish later on.

Or, if you hold them responsible for putting on their coat before walking to school on an autumn day, they may have to deal with the consequences of being a bit chilly. Sometimes, just telling them what they need to do isn't enough. Often, they’ll need to learn from their mistakes.

Your Kids Should Also be Responsible at School

When it comes to teaching kids responsibilities, it’s essential that you teach them the skills that they can take with them wherever they go, even when you’re not around. As an example, they’ll need to be responsible at school.

Teach them to be responsible for what they do in class. How they should act, how they should be helpful to teachers, and how to do their best. If you get a report from school that your kids were not following their responsibilities, then don’t let them off the hook. Instead, teach them to do better next time.

Long-Term Goals

The final consideration for teaching kids responsibilities is to also teach them about long-term goals. These could be goals like completing their homework every night so they can get an “A” in a class at the end of the semester. A different type of goal could be to learn how to swim or ride a bike by the end of the summer. They should know the importance of short-term and long-term goals so they can continue to make them in their own lives even after they move out of the nest.

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