When many of us hear the term “free-range parenting,” we picture parents who let their kids do whatever they want, whenever they want, no questions asked. But much like free-range farming, free-range parenting is giving your children more freedom to choose what they want to do and where they want to go with certain rules and restrictions in mind. In many ways, it's the opposite of helicopter parenting.
Free-range parenting isn't exactly a new concept. Many Millennials who are now parents were allowed to ride their bikes to a friends house or wander the mall unsupervised as long as their parents knew where they were and what time they would be back. The phrase free-range parenting was coined by Lenore Skenazy in her 2009 book Free-Range Kids: Giving Our Children the Freedom We Had Without Going Nuts with Worry. This book was a follow up to a 2008 article about allowing her nine-year-old to ride the New York subway alone.
Skenazy and other parents who subscribe to this parenting style believe that free-range parenting gives kids the independence to make their own decisions and the knowledge of knowing that when they make the wrong decision, their failure won't define their lives. But others worry that today's world is too dangerous for kids to be unsupervised.
Who Should Practice Free-Range Parenting?
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Free-range parenting isn't for everyone. All kids are different, and some could use more supervision than others. Before considering free-range parenting, consider if your child is old enough and responsible enough to make their own decisions. Most kids under 6 or 7 should not be left unsupervised for any period of time. Some older elementary kids are responsible enough to walk or ride their bike to the playground or a friend's house alone, and most kids over 12 could be left alone for an hour or two without adult supervision.
Parents should also think about the environment they live in before letting kids venture out on their own. Consider the amount of traffic on the roads your kids may be on, the number of other families you know living in the area, and the crime rate in your neighborhood. In some states, it's not legal for children under 12 to be left unsupervised, and some adults will report kids who are on their own without an adult. If you think that's likely, consider limiting free-range parenting to your own home.
If you have more than one child, you will likely have to enforce free-range parenting equally across the board, so if you're not willing to leave a younger sibling home alone with an 11 or 12 year old, you might want to hold off.
What Are the Advantages of Free-Range Parenting?
Free-range parenting gives kids the freedom to choose what they do and where they go in the after school and weekend hours – something even adults envy sometimes. Along with that, they can choose their friends and how they behave in social situations, spend time outside, and calculate their own risks and rewards. Free-range kids are sometimes more willing to try climbing the higher structures on the playground or make up their own rules to a game because they aren't afraid of being told “no” by an adult. This helps them develop a sense of what they can and cannot do in real life instead of only doing things because their parents told them to.
For parents, free-range parenting can mean more time for themselves. It can also mean that kids learn some lessons on their own, especially when it comes to making their own plans with friends and thinking of ways to entertain themselves without being told by an adult what to do.
Free-range kids can also be more creative, have lower rates of anxiety and depression, and have a higher satisfaction with life as compared to children of helicopter parents, says an article in PsychCentral. The advancement of smartphones and smartwatches to give kids a way to contact a trusted adult in the case of an emergency further enhances the advantages of free-range parenting, because parents know kids can reach them easily when needed.
Drawbacks of Free-Range Parenting
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Unfortunately, free-range parenting isn't always the best solution for every family. Today's kids often find themselves feeling left out if they're not signed up for multiple sports and activities after school – there's just not as many kids to play with and not as much spontaneous play as there used to be. And because many kids live in households where both parents work outside of the home, many kids are in after-school care in the afternoon.
Parents should also be aware of legal issues with kids being out on their own. In her book Small Animals: Parenting in the Age of Fear, Kim Brooks describes leaving her four-year-old son in the car while she went into a store for a matter of minutes, and the legal battle that ensued after someone recorded her actions and called the police. If parents are seen as neglectful, they could end up facing complaints to police or DCFS.
And of course, leaving your kids unsupervised puts them at risk for injuries or becoming the victims of crimes. Parents should be sure their children know the risks and are responsible enough to avoid anything that could cause them harm. If your child or the environment you live in aren't conducive to limited levels of adult supervision, it may be best to avoid practicing free-range parenting.
Free-range parenting can have a lot of advantages for older kids living in safe environments. Parents should consider this growing trend as their kids become ready to fly the coop!
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