“Everyone in my class has seen Stranger Things,” my 8-year-old son recently told me. He was begging to watch the science fiction horror drama series on Netflix, and I couldn’t reconcile this request from the boy who used to get scared by Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas. Now, he’s reading the Goosebumps series, talking about “jump scares,” and becoming increasingly interested in the thriller genre — which his 6- and 3-year-old brothers are still much too young for.
Is it OK to let him watch a scary movie, or should I make him wait until he’s older? After all, I wouldn’t want to accidentally scar him for life, the way my mom was after she watched Friday the 13th at just 10 years old. But he's already seen all the kid-friendly Halloween movies and is ready for something a little darker. To figure out what to do, I turned to mental health experts to get their opinions.
Should I Let My Kid Watch Scary Movies — Even if They Are Rated PG-13 or R?
Some kids can handle watching PG-13 or R-rated horror movies, while others can't.
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As much as we might wish there were, there are no hard and fast rules about what movies you should let your kids watch. However, the standardized ratings, like PG-13 and R, are meant to guide parents.
“Ultimately, the decision is up to you, the parent,” Ellie Messinger-Adams, MA, LPCC, PPS-SC, SCL, tells us. She explains, “Generally speaking, though, R-rated films contain more than just fear-based things that parents may not want their kids to engage with. Their brains are still developing, and logic and reasoning are not fully online yet to help in determining what to do with the information they just saw.”
So if they see someone get killed or a possessed doll hurt somebody, then they might process those creepy images in a different way than adults.
Yuki Shida, LMFT, recommends sticking with scary movies made for little ones. “Mild ‘spooky’ shows that are designed for kids, such as ‘Goosebumps’ or ‘Hotel Transylvania,’ can be purely entertaining,” she says. “However, PG-13 and R-rated horror movies have this rating for a reason: to protect young kids whose brains are still not developmentally ready.”
Will Kids Be Traumatized From Watching Scary Movies?
Obviously, parents don’t set out to traumatize their kids. But what if we accidentally do? How do we know if a movie will affect our kids or just be lighthearted fun?
“Two children can watch the same movie, and one child may show signs of trauma, while the other may appear to be completely unaffected,” Shida explains. “Whether or not a movie will cause a child to be traumatized depends on other contextual factors such as their temperament, other life stressors, and emotional intelligence.”
“Watching scary movies without traumatizing kids all comes down to the individual child and their resiliency skills,” adds Messinger-Adams. “Trauma occurs when the brain recognizes perceived harm as real. So, if your kiddo is watching the movie and is [afraid] the scary thing really exists or might be lurking [nearby], it is more likely to land in a trauma zone.”
When kids are old enough or mature enough to understand the scary moments aren't real, they're able to let them go.
How to Know If Your Child Is Developmentally Ready
There are some signs to look for to determine if your child is ready for a scary movie.
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“Your child should have a good understanding of the concept of horror as entertainment,” Shida suggests. “They will show appreciation of the storyline and heightened emotions such as fear and surprise, but after watching the movie, they will quickly resume regular activities such as playing with toys or engaging with the family.”
On the other hand, there are several signs to look for that show your child is not ready to watch something scary. Number one: they are totally freaked out afterward.
“If your child needs repeated reassurance that what happens in the movie will not happen to them personally, or ruminates on distressing scenes from the movie for weeks afterward, it means that watching these movies will do more harm than good,” Shida says. “Your child may also experience unwanted consequences like avoidance (of the dark, or of clowns) and nightmares.”
You Know Your Child Better Than Anyone
Messinger-Adams says, “If they are a kiddo that is easily scared and struggles to recover when things don't go well, or become uncomfortable, [then] scary movies might be a bad idea.”
There may also be other signs of distress in your child that show they aren’t ready for scary movies. “One of the most obvious signs is nightmares and difficulty sleeping, but we also might see shifts in temperament and behavior, or increased worries about being alone or in a particular environment,” says Messinger-Adams.
She also recommends looking out for hypervigilance in kids. This might look like obsessively checking locks, doors, and under the bed; needing you to explain where you will be all the time; and even developing some superstitious tendencies. “Some [children may] start to take on some of the behaviors of characters that kept them safe [in the movie],” Messinger-Adams explains.
Some Kids Are More Sensitive to Scary Movies Than Others
If your child is having nightmares, they might not be ready for scary movies.
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At the end of the day, just because other kids could watch a horror film or show and not be affected, that doesn’t mean your kid will have the same reaction. Every child is different, and it’s important to do what’s right for your own child.
“Some kids are more sensitive because of their emotional and physical capacity dysregulation,” says Messinger-Adams. “When we think about what a scary movie is, it is a movie intended to [make] you feel uncomfortable and fearful. So, if you put a kid who has a hard time with big feelings and can’t calm down easily, in front of a scary movie, of course, they will find it hard. They don't have the skills needed yet to handle those heart-racing moments of uncertainty.”
“Some children are more sensitive to their fear response, and it could take longer to regulate their nervous system than others,” Shida says. “Some children are also highly imaginative and have an amazing gift of imagination that sometimes makes things feel too real.”
Other kids (even in the same family!) might be perfectly fine and realize that it's just fun entertainment. It's truly a personal decision.
Having a Parent's Support Can Help
“Children are built to handle hard things and be resilient with support and love from an adult,” Messinger-Adams says. “This is why we find that some kids who have a parent watching scary(ish) movies with them, and supporting them along the way, are less likely to have a negative impact.”
Messinger-Adams says the best thing to do is to watch the scary show or movie with them. “Be prepared to help [your kid] through whatever fears or worries may arise with compassion and understanding.”
“It is important to help them differentiate fear from fact and reality from imagination so that they don't feel stuck in the world of whatever movie they watch,” she continues. “If the world already feels uncertain and scary for your kid, don't add more imagined fear into their life. What they need is security and knowing that they are OK.”
Ultimately, deciding when your child is ready to watch this type of show or movie is up to you to decide. Some kids will be ready earlier than others. And if you do feel like your child is traumatized or excessively worried after watching a scary movie — whether one made for kids or not — contact your child's pediatrician or therapist for guidance on how to help them.
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