Think Being a Parent Is Hard? The Sandwich Generation Is Caring for Their Kids and Aging Parents at the Same Time

Raising kids is hard enough — add on the burden and pressure of taking care of your parents, and well, anyone could crumble from the stress. Adults who are responsible for little kids and elderly parents are known as the “sandwich generation.” All this extra responsibility (and emotionally draining work) can take its toll and lead to burnout if you aren’t careful.

We chat with family therapists for insights on managing the different types of responsibilities — being a dedicated parent and a dutiful child at the same time — so you can get the support you need while supporting everyone else.

What Is the ‘Sandwich Generation’?

You might be a part of the “sandwich generation” if you find yourself simultaneously raising your kids and caring for aging parents. “This double caregiving is becoming more common for several reasons,” Emily Longo, LMFT, director of family therapy at Silver Hill Hospital, tells us. “People are living longer, so parents often need support well into their 70s, 80s, or even 90s. At the same time, many adults are having children later in life, which increases the overlap between parenting and caregiving responsibilities. Economic pressures and society’s expectations to support both generations also play a role.”

Meryl Breidbart, LMSW, founder of A Good Place Therapy, has personal experience with this. She was born when her dad was 35, but he was born when her grandmother was just 20. This age gap made things easier for her dad when her grandma got sick, because she was already a teenager at that point.

“When my grandma was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s at 70, my dad was 50, and I was 15. I needed my parents, but I was also self-sufficient,” she says. However, since her dad had her at 35, and she had her first child at 30, Breidbart will be a part of the “sandwich generation” when she’s older. “I had my first kid at 30, which means that when my dad is 70, I'm 35, and my child is 5,” she explains. “Not quite as self-sufficient as 15! These changes make a huge difference in who needs care.”

What Does This Reality Look Like for Families?

It’s difficult to live this way, for sure. And even though everyone’s situation is unique to them, there are still some overlapping themes therapists see when people are split between caring for their parents and their children.

“What I see in my practice is someone pulled in 100 directions at once,” Hillary Pilotto, MA, LCPC, certified EMDR therapist and trauma expert of Better Balance Counseling, tells us. “A strong-willed child who needs presence and patience on one side, an aging parent with cognitive decline who needs a different kind of presence and patience on the other. Somewhere in the middle is a person who doesn't have time to meet their own needs. They are exhausted in a way that sleep doesn't fix. And the thing I notice most: everyone in their life is being taken care of. Nobody is checking on them,” she continues.

Stress Can Make It Difficult to Balance It All

Pilotto says that the stress makes people want to give up. “Over time, it builds into burnout that looks like numbness, irritability, and the creeping feeling that you've disappeared inside your own life,” she explains.

Breidbart agrees. “Parents are burning the candle at both ends — at a time in their lives when historically parents have relied on grandparents as additional caregiving support, parents are now doing double-duty,” she says. “It is expensive, both in actual dollars and in emotional bandwidth.” Especially because in 2026, the costs for both child and elder care have risen significantly, putting additional financial strain on families in the ‘sandwich generation.”

Truthfully, there isn’t always enough time for everything they need to do. “This dual responsibility can feel like a constant juggling act,” Longo says, especially when your daily schedule includes things like managing school activities, doctor’s appointments, household chores, and financial responsibilities for children and parents.

“Some families experience tension or guilt when they feel they’re not giving enough attention to one generation,” Longo adds. “Communication and role clarity can become challenging, and family members may feel pulled in multiple directions, leading to stress and conflict.”

How to Protect Your Mental Health During Dual Caregiving

As previously mentioned, the dual responsibilities of caring for both parents and kids can take a toll on people and affect their mental health.

“Being in this position can take a significant emotional and mental toll,” Longo says. “Many in the ‘sandwich generation’ report feelings of overwhelm, anxiety, and guilt, as well as physical exhaustion. Chronic stress can lead to sleep disturbances, mood changes, and even burnout,” she continues. “It’s also common to feel isolated, as it can be difficult to find time for social connections or self-care. Mental health struggles may emerge or intensify if individuals don’t have adequate support or coping strategies.”

Pilotto’s method to help people manage stress and anxiety involves having patients “name it to tame it.” “Say the words out loud that you are overwhelmed, burned out, or exhausted,” Pilotto suggests. “Acknowledging what is really going on can help set the scene for what you need.”

Longo recommends several stress-relieving strategies for those in the “sandwich generation.” For starters, set boundaries. “Clearly define what you can and cannot do,” Longo says. “This helps reduce guilt and ensures you’re not overextending yourself. It also helps others manage expectations of you.” She also suggests communicating with both your children and parents about your own expectations, needs, and feelings.

Next, make time for self-care. It may not seem like there is enough time, but it's important. “Start with small daily habits, like a short walk outside, meditation, or journaling,” Longo suggests. “Even starting with one minute and gradually building can go a long way.”

Longo also recommends organizing and planning your responsibilities on a calendar or shared scheduling app as much as possible, so you don’t have to try to remember everything on your own.

Finally, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Breidbart suggests hiring someone to clean your house or babysit for a few hours. “If that isn't financially feasible, see if you can trade with a neighbor or friend — you watch their kids one night, and then they can watch yours. And see if you can share some of the emotional and physical caregiving for your parents with siblings and other relatives.”

Be sure to reach out to a therapist if you need emotional support during this time. “You don’t have to do it alone,” Longo says.

Appreciate This Season of Personal Growth, If You Can

Remember that everything in life is temporary, and taking care of very young kids and elderly parents at the same time won’t last forever. If you can, try to focus on the positive and what you can learn from this unique time.

“Despite the challenges and the truly extraordinary amount of work and pressure, being part of the ‘sandwich generation’ may be a gift in disguise,” Longo says. “It’s an opportunity to spend more time with the people you love, and an opportunity for them to spend more time together. It is also an opportunity for personal and family growth.”

“Learning to prioritize your own mental health, set boundaries, practice self-care (especially when it feels like there is not an extra minute in your day), ask for help, and put yourself and your family in a position to enjoy and cherish time together is not easy, but it is well worth it,” she adds. “And in the end, those lessons and new practices may well enhance your life and your family relationships in other meaningful ways.”

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