Dads nowadays do everything from diaper changes and midnight feedings to Lamaze coaching and cord cutting, so why are co-ed baby showers still such a rarity?
Key Points
- Add a manly flair to traditional baby shower decorations to help the dad-to-be feel more comfortable.
- Pick games that can be comfortably and easily played by both men and women.
- Make sure to take the mom-to-be's preferences into account when planning.
The New Co-ed Baby Showers
Old Sensibilities
In the good ole days of yesteryear pregnancy, labor, birth, and baby care were distinctly woman’s work. Dad was out in the fields planting crops or clubbing dinner.
Times change and Dads are not only as hands-on as mom, it’s how they themselves want it to be. Dad wants to hold his new baby, talk to his child while still in the womb, bond with his daughter while pasting pink ribbons to her bald head.
No longer is child-rearing a girl’s only club. The last vestiges of this tradition still cling to the baby shower. Maybe it is time this particular party evolved.
Including Dad in the baby shower will mean anticipating his tastes too when making the guest list, planning games, and choosing foods. The last thing the host wants would be to make dad feel uncomfortable; to this end any overly frilly, girly party should be given a shot of man-mojo.
This is simple enough to accomplish. Invite other men so dad isn’t the only male on the premises; include games and conversation starters that don’t concentrate on labor, delivery, and breastfeeding. It is also good to let other guests know that this will be a co-ed affair.
Traditional Themes
How many moms out there would truly be sorry to see a shot of new life breathed into the rote world of a traditional baby shower? For some reason the baby shower has remained a compulsory party, which some people don't really enjoy.
To them, it is an afternoon eating less-than-satisfying, fussy baby foods, a forced march through gift opening, and topped off with the same games that are played at all the showers they've been to.
Out With the Old
Hosting a co-ed baby shower throws the doors open to an opportunity to turn the whole baby shower on its head and really shake things up. Having mixed company can mean different games, more substantial food, and many more laughs!
It really isn’t that difficult to tweak a traditional shower to suit the needs of a co-ed gathering. The biggest change is the guest list and making the décor a bit manlier.
For example, couples could play name that baby photo, or share embarrassing baby stories about one another. Having seasoned parents provide a touch of reality in a comical way about diaper duty, sleepless nights, and the general state of chaos which is the new normal of parenthood is a great way to both inform the parents-to-be and include dad in the party.
Games that pit the boys against the girls are wonderfully fun and, guess what, there's no need to reinvent the wheel. Those typical shower games can become great fodder for a battle of the sexes event with minor tinkering.
So give dad a break, and look more closely at co-ed baby showers.
Remember to Think About What Mom Wants
Mom is the center of the show, regardless of whether you're hosting a co-ed party or a girls-only event. When planning a shower for her, make sure you take into account her wants and desires. This shower is about her, not about your ability to host the party of your dreams.
If mom wants a traditional shower, there's nothing wrong with that, even if you think the idea is dated. The mom-to-be may be vocal about the type of baby shower she wants, especially if she's planning it in coordination with you. While it is traditional for the expectant mother to handle none of the heavy work when it comes to a baby shower, many moms want to have a say in what their shower will be like.
If you're uncertain about the desires of the guest of honor, think about her values. Does she trend on the more traditional side, or is she boundary-setting and liberal? This can help point you in the direction of a girls-only, traditional party or a new-age co-ed party. If she falls somewhere in the middle of the spectrum, you can go in either direction.
By focusing on the mom-to-be's wants and desires, you'll be able to throw her an amazing baby shower. She's endured a lot over the past several months, so she deserves to have a special day to honor her and her new baby. Take your time when planning, and make sure to stick to a budget. Have fun!
The image featured at the top of this post is ©iStock.com/RuthBlack